You still have feelings for that special someone. You still clutch that pillow and dampen it with your tears every night because you want your ex back. You just cannot recover from the hangover that your ex left you. If you still have feelings for your ex, then you cannot resist finding ways to make your ex come back.
You might find an issue with almost everything and start sharing your feelings. We know that the phase of your breakup was complicated. And if you discuss your feelings and daily struggles with others, certainly you can recover from that gloomy state.
But confiding your deepest feelings about your ex to a few close people over a cup of coffee or wine is different from sharing the same feeling with 400 of your mutual friends. Yes, I am talking about your endless rants on social networks.
Post breakup, we often take to social media to express our deepest concern and the daily struggles through silly blurbs. But we do not know the maladies of social media.
Even after an amicable split, emotions do run high. Amidst it all, if you are trying to get back together, then a single post on social media might stir up some unnecessary drama. So you must be prudent about what you share on social media post breakup.
If you want your ex back, you don’t need more drama, do you? After breakup, you must keep things to yourself and between close friends rather than taking them to the social media. Those too-tempting social media blunders can cause you to lose control of your emotions.
So if you want your ex back, and do not want to make a mess of your relationship, stop committing these social media mistakes.
Mistake #1: Bashing Your Ex on Social Media
You may not have had an amicable split, or you may simply want to bash on your ex post breakup. So you decide to express yourself through social channels. You find that it is the best place to bash your ex.
Facebook is a tempting place in such cases to have a good old rant. But you must avoid it at all costs, especially if you both were social media freaks and kept on sharing your cupid love story. It was a place where you often took pride in your love. It has been a great support system, but that doesn’t mean that you should use the same channel to tear down your ex.
Lashing out, and sharing sensitive information on social media can mess things up things for you and for your family and close friends. At the same time, if your ex was trying to get back together, he or she might give up forever after seeing your posts.
And if you have a kid out of this relationship, and if he or she reads your online jabs, what mental impact will it have on the child? Do you really want to hurt anyone in the family?
What can you do other than bashing your ex on social media?
If you want to get back with your ex, start with awareness and empathy. This will help to make the right decisions. Some other suggestions:
- Write a diary and take out all your grievances on paper instead
- Write to a close friend about what you feel about your ex since they left
- Write some poetry, and take out all your frustrations
- Keep everything offline, and you won’t end up regretting anything
Mistake #2: Spying on Your Ex on Social Media
Are you James Bond, or do you work with the FBI? No? Then what’s with all the spying and lurking on social media?
We know breakups become more difficult when the other person leaves a trail of themselves all over the internet. There’s hardly anyone who hasn’t fallen down the Facebook-snooping rabbit hole. Even I do.
Yes, it’s hard to ignore your ex on social media channels. It’s somewhat like dipping your finger into boiling water. It is going to hurt like hell. But for the sake of your well-being, stop being a sniffer dog.
Don’t scroll through your ex’s Instagram or research every new friend they make on Facebook. If you have a password to his or her account do not use it.
What can you do other than spying on your ex on social media?
Do you want to see your ex having a great time at the pub? Do you want to see their arm tightly wrapped around a stranger’s waist? It’s bound to hurt. But when a relationship ends, a space opens up in your life, and eventually you need to fill it up with other things.
In such cases, spending time or focusing on your ex will dramatically slow down your life, degrade your health and might make your mentally weak.
Keeping yourself stuck to the past creates serious obstacles in the path of getting back an ex and to have a satisfying new future. Will you like to mess up all your plans to make your ex come back? If the answer is NO, then stop spying on him or her.
Mistake #3: Blocking Your Ex on Social Networks
Yes, you need to stop spying on your ex. But there’s no need to go so far as to block him or her on all social channels. It may seem like the ultimate move, but before you sever all your social media ties with your ex, just feel the gloom and impact it will have on your real life rapport.
If you have started stalking your ex on social media, then you are going down a dark road. Stalking is just like getting addicted to drugs. At first you feel high about the new pics they upload, and then you realize that you start checking out his or her feed every morning. You just cannot go a day without checking or spying on their social media accounts.
If you want your ex back, you have to get a control over your emotions and put an end to your stalking habits.
It is OK to block your ex if he or she is toxic to your life. But if you really want your ex back, then it might not be the best way to go. If there is tension and jealousy, you may not want to stay friends with them. But if it is an amicable split, it is better to keep your ex in the loop, especially when you are committed to co-parenting.
So drop your idea to block them. It might stir up some more drama that you do not want to face. Especially if you are seriously working on repairing this relationship.
What can you do other than blocked your ex on social media?
If you want your ex back, it is better to hide their posts and take a mental break. You can also unfollow them on Facebook for the time being. This will help you to stay friends with your ex, but restrict you from seeing their day-to-day updates.
But make sure that you discuss the reasons behind any changes to the online friendship status to your ex. This is important if you are working on the process of getting an ex back.
Mistake #4: Publicly Flirting on Social Media
This is a seriously immature step. We all are grown up, and when we were in a serious relationship for years, taking a step back to immature habits like flirting can be damaging.
But do you know that post break up most of us take this immature step of publicly flirting on social media? And it can make things get out of control. You still post a bunch of winky faces on someone’s timelines and get into a self-created mess. Is this really how you show that you want your ex back?
What can you do other than flirting on social media?
If you want to move on with someone new, it is better not to showcase your affection. Couples who act all lovey-dovey on social media and keep on posting things online might end up regretting public flirting after break up.
If you know that your ex still follows you, the flirting will portray a bad side of you. If your ex is in the process of making a comeback, then your unnecessary flirting will retract them.
Public flirting will screw you up. If you want to know how to win back your ex, you need to stop committing this social media sin.
This is especially true in case your ex tends to be overly emotional because this public flirting will ruin all the steps to get your lover back. You want him or her to have a good mental image of you, and making them jealous just won’t work.
Mistake #5: Over-Sharing Updates on Social Media
Even if the internet isn’t going to be here forever, it’s likely that it’ll exist for a long time. So it is better to protect all your scandalous details from your virtual friends and maybe even from your closest friends.
Keep all the drama to yourself and do not expose them on social media. Sharing all the tiny and sensitive details of your relationship after a break up with your beloved ex will have a negative impact.
It is not good to stream all those videos post break-up that show your escapades, or giggling drunkenly with your BFFs.
Do you think that you can get your ex back like this? Do you realize that these attempts to make your ex jealous can seem pathetic? It is not a good idea to put on a brave face just for the sake of appearing that you are not hurt due to this breakup.
Love and relationship coaches who are helping you to get your lover back will tell you that it is OK to be hurt after a breakup. No one expects that you will get out on the streets and shout that you are happy to be free from this bonding. But if you genuinely feel good after a break up, then it is a brownie for you.
What can you do other than over-sharing on social media?
But if you want your ex back in life, stop oversharing all your details, whereabouts, your emotions on social media. Moreover, if you have recently got a new job or you’re trying to start a new relationship, then your oversharing of information might feel like a punch in the face for your ex.
You can resort to other options like:
- Talking to common friends about how good your life is so that he or she might convey the information to your lover.
- If you want your ex back, you can keep up your friendly status by talking to him, reply to his or her texts or smile at them when you meet.
- Take up yoga, dance or gyms to boost your health and restore more positive energy.
Whatever you choose to do, it should be something offline and not on social media.
Mistake #6: Un-Tagging Them or Yourself from all Photos and Posts
You both enjoyed a love story on social media and kept on sharing numerous photos. Whether you were going to a movie, posed for a selfie at the poolside, or while trying out new things together. You have snaps of all moments of togetherness.
So after your breakup, you start to untag yourself from all those memories, you shared on social media. But you may later regret the actions.
This is premature behavior just like blocking your ex on the social media. I know those happy memories trigger pain after a breakup. But it also startles people if they find that an ex-couple has cleared all their evidence of their social media love story.
People find it hard to untag themselves from photos or delete the photos, but at the same time, it is hard for them to continue seeing the face of their ex over and over again. So they still follow through with the move in one irrational decision.
Post breakup, you need to be more rational if you want to make your ex come back.
What can you do other than untagging on social media?
If it is hard for you to see your ex’s face splashed across social media, consider downloading all those photos in an album, or hide it deep within your hard drive rather than pounding on the delete and untag button furiously.
If you want your ex back in your life, stop untagging yourself from those old photos. Instead, bury them somewhere else until you get back with your ex.
Mistake #7: Sharing “I’m fine” Posts on Social Media
“I’m fine,” “I’m fine,” “I’m fine…”
Stop sharing these nonsensical posts on social media when people around you know that you are not fine after the breakup. If you were serious about your relationship, and never wanted this breakup to happen, then things are not fine.
But posting, “I’m Fine,” posts in such a situation is a social media mistake. It is very tempting for most of us to create posts with the intention of sending some kind of message to your ex about your life without them. But if you are working on the ways to get your lover back, these posts might hurt you.
What can you do other than posting you’re “fine” on social media?
If you want your ex back in life, stop sharing passive aggressive posts such as checking on a date, posting photos with your new partner or sharing silly memes of your well-being. It can actually slow your healing.
It is OK to feel broken or sad rather than pretending that you are fine. This is normal. What is not normal is trying too hard to show that you’re 100 percent unfazed after you had a split.
Wrapping Up
We know it is tough to control your emotions and sentiments post break up. You are in search of a place where you can spit out all the anger and pain that you have in your heart. And in such an instance you find Social Media is the ideal place to express yourself.
But how many friends are there on social channels whom you know personally? Do you really feel comfortable letting those 400 not-so-close friends know all the tiny details of your relationship?
Do you know there are people who probably have been spying on your relationship earlier and were waiting for this opportunity so that they can run after you? Who knows that the new partner of your ex was there on your social profile for a long time and played a role this separation?
If you cannot get over your lover and want your ex back in life very soon, you must stop committing these grievous sins on social media.
There are some serious etiquette that you must follow on social media. If you are open about your relationship to the world before break up, then it is high time to stop talking about your relationship post break up.
To be happy and win back an ex faster, stop committing these seven social media sins. Got any more social media sins to share for people who want their exes back? Feel free to share them in your comment below.
Reunite With Your Ex-Partner
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Parting ways with the person you love the most is the most heart breaking thing in the world. I wish no one ever has to go through this phase. It is not from my personal experience but some one really close to me had to end a relationship owing to some adjustment issues. But, there was a phase when she would take to Facebook or Twitter and share her thoughts on her break up and the relationship that was no longer there. However, with time and God’s grace everything fell into place for them and they once again started dating.
This is one of the best and most important post break up advices I have come across. I myself had friends who thought blurting it out on the social media would help them recover faster. There is no point letting everyone know about your state of mind, since not everyone would understand what you are going through.
Social media should be used carefully and responsibly. I have seen some of my friends sharing their thoughts post break up, and it was not cool. We all should know what and how much we should share on social media. There is no point in letting people know what you are going through because they wont understand. Some would find it entertaining, while others would simply ignore or feel annoyed. Relationships are something very personal and they should be kept that way. By sharing such details of one’s emotional state on social media they would only be making fun of themselves.
The social media is encroaching upon people’s private space. But many of us simply love to let people (sometimes even the most uninterested ones also) know about what is happening in our lives. It is okay till the point you are sharing the common experiences with people. But there is simply no justification to why anyone would share their very personal emotions with just anyone! Being subjected to pity and sympathy isn’t a good thing. Or worse still, letting people enjoy or get entertained by your agony.
My best friend used to tell me to stop posting personal issues on Facebook. I would stop for a few days and get back to doing it. Until I heard a few very bad gossips about myself those were not true and upon realizing what may have caused that i stopped posting on Facebook completely. I know a lot of people do this and unlike me they do not even realize how they are being ridiculed behind their backs.
Yeah. This is very annoying. No one wants to wake up to someone else’s long rants on their feeds every morning. I just hope these people realize how they should deal with their personal lives. Social media is not a place where you should be venting out your frustrations and pain. That’s simply not the right thing to do. They are not just making themselves vulnerable to others but also subjecting themselves to mockery and ridicule. Definitly noone will express it publicly.
This can be a difficult thing to realize for a lot of people if someone doesn’t point it out. I didn’t have a friend who would tell me not to. Well, either they got fun out of it, or they were annoyed, but no one ever bothered to tell me this. Now I realize what I have been doing, and I never thought it could be so embarrassing. I made social media kind of an open notebook, where I shared my thoughts and opinions. I used to do exactly this, go on and on about my sorrows and sufferings post break up on social media. I don’t know, but after realizing this I am sort of feeling very unconfortable. But thank you for pointing it out.
After going through the entire article, it just dawned on to me that what have I been doing! Allowing myself to be ridiculed by others? I always had this bit of a concern inside about posting such silly things on my Facebook, but I would ignore it and return to publicizing my personal life. I don’t know why I did it, but it’s time that I started being careful about what goes out on Facebook. Thank you for the inspiring article, it was an eye opener.
There are so many people out there who love to hold out their personal lives on social media. Maybe this gives a celebrity like feeling! But very few realize this in time. Social media is kind of ruining our personal lives, and with so many opportunities to become famous on social media, it is indeed tempting to post things or information that others do not need to know. Moreover, I think people who feel that they have no one to vent it out to or share their grief with, do this. It is kind of forcibly making others listen to you. Maybe it gives a good feeling temporarily, but in the long run, it is definitely going to tarnish your public image.