Many women think it will be easier to move on after a heart-breaking breakup if they start dating someone else. But little do they realize that it will only make things more difficult for them.
If you are still recuperating after a breakup, do not try to find solace in someone else. You might end up in a relationship that you never wanted.
If you hastily decided to be with someone to cope with a breakup, and you still feel a strong attraction towards your former partner, then you are probably in a rebound relationship. If you really liked the person you are currently with, you wouldn’t have felt that way about your ex.
However, if you are reading this, you have already realized this part. And you know that it will be a wise move to let go of your current boyfriend without dragging things any further.
Tips On How To Break Up With Your Current Boyfriend
Breakups are never a pleasant experience. They often entail suffering for one or both parties involved. In this case, whatever you do, you are still going to hurt your current boyfriend by breaking up with him. But remind yourself that you would probably hurt him more by staying with him when you still wish you were with your ex.
#1. Be Sure About What You Want
Are you 100%t sure about your decision? Are you sure it’s your ex who you want to be with? Before you make a move, ask yourself these questions, and try to be absolutely honest with yourself.
You don’t want to make a wrong move and regret later. Always remember, if you broke up with someone, there was a reason behind it. And the fact remains that whatever it was, you two were unable to overcome it together. Hence, think twice before you make a decision.
#2. A Break and a Breakup
If you still want to go ahead and break up with your current boyfriend, then try to be truthful. Don’t say you need a break because that would be unethical. A break and a breakup do not mean the same thing. And telling him you need a break would mean you want to keep him hanging. If you’re sure you want to get your ex back, don’t keep the new guy hanging. It’s just mean.
#3. How to Tell Him
You can’t do much to change your own feelings about the situation, but you can certainly make it less hurtful for him. One way to do so is by choosing a suitable place and time to break the news to him.
Try to postpone it if your boyfriend is going through a tough phase in life, like the death of a family member, or tremendous pressure at work. And when you are telling him that you can no longer be together, make sure there is no one else around, as that can be very embarrassing.
#4. Don’t Breakup Over a Medium
Breaking up by phone, text, or social media may look like you are trying not to face the truth yourself. Don’t have someone else deliver the news for you either. You should meet up with your boyfriend personally and explain it to him. When you are saying something yourself, the tone of your voice will also make a lot of difference. If it’s a long distance relationship, you can set up a video call, and speak to him directly. 
#5. Keep Calm While Breaking Up
It’s your responsibility to remain calm while breaking up with your boyfriend since it’s him who is on the receiving end. You need to be sensitive if he breaks down. Surely it will come as a shock to him, but try to be as understanding, and sensitive as possible.
#6. Be Transparent
Don’t lie or do not try to deceive your boyfriend. He deserves to know the truth. There shouldn’t be anything hidden between you. Make sure you choose your words carefully, without being too harsh. It’s better to decide beforehand what you’re going to say, and how you’re going to say it. You can rehearse in front of the mirror and prepare yourself before you speak.
#7. Be Polite, But Firm
If you’ve made up your mind about ending this relationship and starting fresh with your ex, then you need to be firm, but polite at the same time. You may get emotional seeing him break down, but don’t be weak and change your mind. It won’t lead to a fulfilling relationship for either of you.
#8. Be Careful About Trying to be Friends
Let’s face facts. It’s difficult to be “just friends” with an ex. Once you break up, you shouldn’t look back. Remaining friends will not help your boyfriend get over you. This will not only hamper the progress with your ex, but also prevent your current boyfriend from moving on completely.
#9. Try Not To Make Him Feel Bad About Himself
Try not to tell him anything that will make him feel he is not worth you. That can deliver a blow to his self-confidence. Tell him that it’s not his fault that you are breaking up. Don’t put the blame on him, and point out his faults. Try to sound as reasonable as you can.
#10. Give Him Some Space
After you break the news to him, he may want to be left alone. Give him that space, and don’t try to be overly concerned as that will make him weaker. If he is still not ready to give up on you, try to push him away gently without being too rude. However, you might need to be a bit firm at the same time else he might become persistent.
Breaking up is a painful process, whether it is you who is doing the breaking up or your boyfriend. Often the only consolation is that time heals everything. Maybe a year later you will the guy you really wanted to be with, and your current boyfriend will be with the person whom he really deserves.
Reunite With Your Ex-Partner
This 14-day relationship program will help you learn how to take responsibility for your relationship, repair your mistakes, and build a stronger and happier relationship with your ex.
You’ll learn how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and resolve conflict in a healthy manner. By the end of this program, you’ll have the necessary tools you need to get your ex back and build a strong, lasting relationship.
It is strange but I went through exactly this situation. I started dating a man immediately after a break up but soon realized that he was a rebound. If I still went out him even after this realization it would have been unjust so I told him whats the case. He was a sensitive man and understood my state of mind. He said he forgave me and I hope he did. May be now it is time to see whether me and my ex was really meant to be with each other. Thanks for the tips, they seem helpful and realistic.
Ending up as someone’s rebound boyfriend or girlfriend is the worst thing to happen. But one can always save it from getting nastier and more painful. If someone cannot get over their ex inspite of having another man in their lives, it is better to handle it sensitively and not rush things.
Ending a relationship is a tough job. It doesn’t matter if you are the one ending it or learning about it. There would still be grief and sorrow.
Thank you for the advice. It is a tough job. But I believe it would be tougher if I do not tell my current boyfriend the truth now and I would be doing more injustice to him. May be if I just tell him now what I feel he will understand and be able to move on because it has been only a month since we started seeing each other. The more I drag it, the more complicated it is going to get. I have discussed this with my friends, thought about it over and over and then started looking up the net. I just stumbled upon this article, and found it useful. I am sure there are many women who would find this useful like me. Thanks a lot again.
Break up was painful for me and its going to be painful for my current boyfriend as well. But its the only thing I can do to prevent the situation from going further downhill. This is what exactly I was going to do, but was not sure about it. Thank you for helping me out with this. He is a very nice man, and may be he deserves someone better than me.
I found some very helpful tips in this article. Thank you. I am not looking to get back to my ex though. It is just that I have been seeing someone for a couple of months now, and things are not working out too well between us. I won’t say he is not a nice person, but it is just that we are not meant to be. I don’t want to break up like that and come across as a mean person. Well, I know no matter what I do now will be considered insensitive, so I just dont want to aggravate this situation. It is better that I put an end to this.
Whoa! this is surely a very tough situation. I am glad I haven’t done anything to end up in such a mess. I read the entire article and I think there is really nothing that one can do to balance such things in a situation like this. It’s like you either be a villain and get back to your ex, or you be a good girlfriend and stay with your current boyfriend. Either ways, you’re going to end up feeling the pangs of guilt.
I don’t get it. How can someone be so confused?
If someone has to go back to their ex, why bring someone else into their lives at all? Does that make life easier somehow? There are a lot of people I know who have done this. You cannot just tell someone you want to be with them and expect to forget your past and fall in love with them. That’s wrong. You enter a relationship when you’re sure you love someone. a well-written piece by th way. The most practical advice there can be for such situations.
Things may not always go as planned. The current boyfriend may just refuse to let go! Which will make the situation even worse. Even if someone is not interested in their former boyfriends anymore, and just wants to end the current relationship because it is not working out, it is very difficult to reason it out with a stubborn person. I have faced a similar situation, so I know what it is exactly like. I was not in love with anyone else, I just wanted to make him see that none of us are happy in the relationship. It was a difficult phase.