7 Reasons Why You Need to Slow Down Before You Get Back with Your Ex

A breakup is painful.

If you have experienced one, you might have suffered from sleepless nights, loss of appetite, and an inability to resume your regular daily activities. It is common to take years and months to get over an ex.

However, there may be times you need to accept the fact that you are not going to get back with your ex. The old chapter is finished, and you are going to turn the page to start a new chapter.

But at times, you still have a question lingering in your mind if there is a chance for you and your ex to patch thing up. As per love experts and relationship coaches, 90 percent of all breakups are reversible. So if your ex is lingering in your mind before you move on, take a deep breath, and rethink your status.

If you want to get back with your ex, you have to take it slow. You have to adopt ways that are careful and positive enough to patch up your relationship without offending, trapping, or chasing away your ex.

What Does Taking it Slow Mean?

What does taking it slow with your ex mean, especially when you are trying to get back together?

Taking the relationship a little slow means slowing the pace at which things are moving between you two. It is a speed breaker to restrict you from going further, and spoiling the program of winning back an ex.

When it comes to a situation that looks like you will get back with your ex at any moment, taking thing slow enables you to take one small step at a time. This gives you the ability to observe the impact and then prepare for taking the second small step. It is more like maintaining your patience, which you have not tried for a long time.

Slowing down also means constantly asking yourself, ”What can I do to make my move?” or, “How will I get my ex to realize that they need to decide whether they want to get back together or not?”

Now there is a quick assessment that tells whether slowing down is working or not. If you see no moves on your ex’s part, even after giving them the space they desire, then you are definitely not taking it slow. You are still hesitating, foot dragging, and taking unnecessary steps to get your ex.

You are simply missing opportunities to change things in your life.

What’s the Best Way to Get Your Ex Back After a Breakup?

The best way to get your ex back after a breakup is to slow down. Have patience, and let things heal at their own pace. You must not instigate anything so that your bonding worsens in the middle of the road of your mission.

Relationship coaches have no doubt that “slowing down” is one of the best ways to get your ex back after a breakup, but a problem remains. If both you and your ex do not try “taking things slow,” what will happen?

Also, if either of you have a history of jumping into a relationship head first, or you talk for hours on the first day of contact, then you are definitely not taking it slow enough. You need to measure the intensity of taking things slow. Slowing your pace should also not be equivalent to a snail because if you are too slow then others might come and win over your ex.

Let’s cut to the chase and get into the ways of how to get back together with an ex. Are you ready to listen to some amazing ways for slowing down and winning an ex back without hassles?

1. Don’t Become Hyperactive to Get Your Lover Back

You must not be hyperactive to get back with your ex within a month or two of your breakup. We know the emotions of people keep changing, but you have to get back together depending on the stage of the process you are in.

Just try to know the reason for which the breakup happened. What are the mistakes that you both have committed? Where do you need to make reconciliations to calm things down?

You must focus on the present, and get to know each other once more. This is effective if one of you has reservations about trying the relationship again or staying in contact. If either of you is trying to get back together, then you must allow each other some thinking space.

2. To Get Your Lover Back Become Their Friend Again

Let’s say your ex is not ready to try the relationship again, but they are eager to stay connected. If they offer you a hand of friendship, you must try to make the best of it.

If you want your ex back do not turn down the offer just because you feel scared that being friends will hurt your chances to get back with your ex. While wanting to get back with your ex, being friends with them is one of the best slow-down steps.

What are the benefits of being friends with your ex?

• Being friends mean you can text your ex, give them a call, and hang out with them with a little indifference to the past relationship you had. The more you are in your ex’s life, the better your chances.
• It also gives you the opportunity to get back with your ex, and show them the changes you have made. Something that you will find impossible to do if you are not in regular contact, say if you are not texting, emailing, or calling him or her.
• If you want to get back with your ex, you will find that this gives you an opportunity to test drive your relationship, without taking too many risks. You have no pressure to be anything other than two separate entities enjoying some great time together. The new relationship must have time to grow comfortable for each other.

3. Pay Attention to Major Changes Before You Get Back To Your Lover

The reason for your separation was probably a number of endless and petty issues. And one of the big reasons for your separation was the bad habits. You might be having a relationship with a person who has a bad habit of drinking throughout the day.

Maybe he or she has a habit of going out with other people while in a relationship. If he or she doesn’t have a job and they becomes solely dependent on you. If they don’t even bother to make changes, there is a big chance of your relationship going bust and the breakup will soon take place.

But even after break up you cannot forget them and keep on thinking how to get back together with an ex?

If you are in a similar dilemma post break up and if you want your ex back, then you can use this probation period to watch his or her action. Are they changing the habits that caused the breakup between you two?

No matter how much they promise that they will never touch another drop of booze or make out with other people or that they will get a job this time, do not listen. Ignore their words and watch how they behave. Remember we need to slow down, give space to each and other, and judge our actions. This is where “actions speak louder than words” will ring true.

If you have not helped him or her get back on the right track and just kept criticizing them for their illicit habits, then it is your time to help straighten their path. When you stay connected, guide them to the right track and let them arrive at the stage where they can make a decision. Whether they want to get back to you or not. And if you really want to get back together, keep your watchful eyes open.

4. Admit the Mistakes You Have Committed Before You Get Your Ex

Have you tried to clap with one hand? Try it! If you can produce the loud clamor that two hands can produce, then you are a genius! But by Jove, you cannot do it. You have to get two hands together to clap and produce the loud sound.

So when you both were in a relationship and had some ugly fight that became the reason of your breakup, then you both are responsible for bringing down the curtains on your relationship.

For those wanting to get back with your ex, you have to understand and realize the past mistakes that you have committed. It is sometimes hard to appreciate your partner and consider their warnings until you realize their absence in your life.

The long-term relationship at times becomes stagnant and every now and then a couple might decide that they need a breakup from each other. In fact, they crave for change. They ignore the fact that both of them are responsible for the fight. The inevitable reason, which they could have avoided reconciling to each other’s terms, had led to such a furious situation.

Though after hurting each other’s emotions they part ways, they soon realize that it is hard to survive without each other. If you have become rude and irritable due to work pressures and was failing to maintain a work and personal life balance, it affected your relationship. If your ex asked to abstain from some bad habits for your good health and you ignored to accept it, then it is high time to rethink.

Now to get your ex you have to blow out the flame that caused this fire in your relationship. You have to mend your ways and must heed the warnings that your e, had given earlier if you are trying to get back together.

5. Take Care of Your Degrading Health

You do not want to feel suppressed and have a face full of worries when you appear before your ex after a breakup. The best way to get back to your ex after a break up is to work on yourself. And to work on yourself you have to take extraordinary care of your health.

Post breakup many of us suffer from the poor health conditions. As we tend to have sleepless nights and get into the habit of skipping meals. We have a constant suffocation and a guilt working in our mind, whether the breakup “happened because of me?”

Now in order to get your ex and get past this attitude, you need to start reworking on your health. If you are mentally and physically strong, then it becomes easy to figure out ways to get back with each other. Good health boosts positivity. If you are trying to get back together, it is important that you concentrate on your health.

You can do these few things to improve your health:

• Go and take up yoga as your daily activity and find out salvation in a different way
• You must take up daily workout sessions in a gym or simply take up jogging to the parks or neighborhoods
• Make new friends, communicate and socialize if you have earlier locked yourself up in the room
• Start munching on some healthy diets
• You might join some motivational classes and talk to people who have the ability to guide you through the path of a failed relationship

It is important to start feeling positive if you want to get back your ex. It is not just about adopting a good way to restart things, but taking things slow also means taking good care of yourself so that you do not look messed up when your ex finally gets back to you.

6. Do Not Take Action Suddenly

It is important to remember that the two of you are no longer in a relationship. You have broken off. I know it is painful to hear the term “broken” when you are seriously considering and mending your ways to get your lover back. Do not take actions just at the spur of the moment.

You might have a strong sexual attraction for each other or your partner is going to have a child to take care of. These are some serious issues. So you have to take things a little slow and plan out accordingly.

For example, if you’re still strongly attracted to each other, make a plan to go on a date every two weeks or a month from now. And find out if everything goes okay between you two. If that goes well, plan for another and find out if things are still okay.

It is necessary to take baby steps than taking huge leaps in a relationship. If you have to care for your pregnant partner after break, make sure you drop by at her place twice in week, accompany her to the doctor appointments even if you are taking time to reconcile.

7. Avoid Drastic Lifestyle Changes before You Get Back with Your Ex

A breakup is a very shocking phase for both the person who did the breakup and the one who was trying to stop the breakup. If you are strong enough, then you will move on. But most are reluctant and cannot overcome their emotional bonding so they are always looking for ways on winning back an ex.

No matter whose responsibility it was to break up – you have to try to stick to your old identity that you maintained prior in your relationship.

You must not change your lifestyle. Do not start drastically changing things just because things are not going well at that particular moment. Do all the things to make your life full and happy on your own. You must try to schedule the “new relationship” with your ex to fit in or maybe the other way around.

You must not change the lifestyle, but you can take a break free from the same and boring lifestyle. What about a holiday? If you and your ex are in a friendly term, then you can plan a short weekend trip to spend some good moments and relive some good memories. If the other party is not willing, then you can take up a weekend trip alone to some spa resort and have a spiritual and mental rejuvenation.

Whatever it might be, you need to take a break not from your lifestyle, but from the usual pattern. One you’re back from the holiday, you can work on making your lifestyle more exciting in case you want your ex back.

What Do the Love Experts Say?

Taking things slow means that you will lower the intensity at which you take actions while trying to get back together. Love experts are of the opinion that you must stop taking drastic actions if you are working on the ways to get back to your lover.

Slowing down is easily the best way to get your ex back after a breakup. But you have to follow certain rules and keep an eye on different aspects. And do not distance yourself from your ex in the process. Otherwise, this might close all doors of opportunities.

Rushing towards a broken relationship too fast after breakup is just as wrong as doing nothing. Do not think or expect that you ex will be taking the step first. Curb your ego. And take the first step to mend the relationship if you feel emotionally attached to him or her.

These are undoubtedly the best practices for working out a relationship. And to know more tips about how to get together with an ex keep following us.