Expert Tips on How to Get Your Ex to Talk to You First

It hurts when you break up with someone you love. It hurts even more if you were not ready to end things, while they didn’t want to speak to you anymore.

So, how do you get your ex to talk to you first?

How do you make them interested in you again?

I know that their silence can frustrate you. It is hard to go for days or even hours without hearing from them. But, little mistakes made during this time can ruin your chances of getting your ex to talk to you first.

But there is good news.

Separation does not mean that there is no more love. It’s still there. It’s just that your ex has negative feelings towards you that have caused the love to fade a bit.

Your ex might still be dealing with the breakup and may want some time away from you. They may also not want to deal with the post-breakup awkwardness.

So, how do you get your ex to talk to you first, despite all this?

Read on to find out.

Simple Strategies to Get Your Ex to Talk to You First

After the breakup, what did you want to do that you weren’t okay with?

Most of the time, immediately after a breakup, there is an urge to call your ex and find out if they are okay. You may also want to ask your ex for forgiveness or give them a piece of your mind.

Don’t!

Any sign of desperation or neediness will turn them off. It may ruin your chances of getting your ex to talk to you first.

If you want to increase the chances of your ex initiating contact, you need to avoid anything that labels you as desperate or needy.

How do you do that?

Use the following strategies and techniques:

1. Respect the No-Contact Rule

Image via Pexels

Breakups are hard, irrespective of who initiates them. They can also be emotionally draining and, in most cases, are not mutual.

It is, therefore, important for both parties to take some time off to grieve.

Trying to contact your ex at this time may not be wise.

Think about it:

If you initiated the breakup, they might get angry that even after ending the relationship, you are acting as if nothing has changed.

And, if your ex ended the relationship, then they may want some space alone to think and heal.

If you keep trying to reach them, then the chances are that they will think that you are obsessed with them and emotionally needy. They are likely to become defensive and push you further away.

These actions will sabotage your efforts to get your ex to talk to you again.

So, what do you do?

Respect the no contact rule and cut off all communication for some time. This gives both parties enough time to heal and think clearly about the relationship.

It’s one of the most effective tactics to start using when you want to get your ex to talk to you first. It can also help you get back on speaking terms and eventually rekindle the romance.

You may be wondering:

How does staying away from my ex get them to talk to me first?

Won’t I be out of sight, out of mind?

Well, you need to understand that breaking up is hard for both of you.

In those initial stages of the breakup, your ex’s guards will be up. Even the most innocent contact will look like a ruse to try and get back together with your ex. You should, therefore, respect the no contact rule. Use this time to work on yourself, emotionally, and physically.

Later on, after your ex has dealt with the anger and let their guard down, they become open to suggestions.

Which brings us to the second point.

2. Work on Issues That Led to the Breakup

To get your ex to talk to you first, you need to work on issues that led to the breakup.

Consider this:

For the relationship to end, there must have been certain things that your ex didn’t like about you or that led to fights.

It’s time to find out what they were and fix it.

It could be that you were annoying or abusive. Maybe, you cheated or stopped appreciating your ex when you were in a relationship and took them for granted.

Something drove them to end the relationship, right?

Be honest about what these issues are because you need to work on them.

If they see that you haven’t made any effort to change your behavior, they may not be motivated to talk to you.

What’s more?

If they ever had any doubts, your refusal to change will only strengthen their belief that they made the right decision.

To get your ex to talk to you first, work on issues that led to the breakup. Working on these issues will make you more attractive to your ex.

But how will your ex know that you’ve improved and worked on these issues?

Take help from mutual friends. Before you broke up, you and your ex must have had some common friends. If you are still close to them, hang out with them from time to time and mention the changes that you’ve made since the breakup.

Don’t brag, though, just mention it casually. It’s highly likely that your friends will deliver the information to your ex. Once your ex hears about the changes, they are likely to try and talk to you to find out more or confirm that it’s true.

They will start missing you and may want to see you again. Doing this will make them let their guard down. It’s one of the best ways to get your ex to talk to you first.

3. Use Social Media to Enhance Your Image

Should you unfriend your ex on social media after the breakup?

No, if you want them back.

If you want to get your ex to talk to you first, don’t unfriend them or delete your social accounts.

Wondering why?

It is because social media can help you win them back. It offers you an opportunity to showcase an enhanced image of yourself to your ex.

So, how do you do it?

Post photos of yourself having a good time, being happy, and doing fine without them.

Image via Pexels

You could share photos and videos of you:

• Partying with your friends
• Doing something exciting like going mountain climbing, traveling, camping, etc.
• Joining group activities, such as gym class, hiking clubs, dancing classes, etc.

How does this help you get your ex to talk to you first?

When they see you living your best life, their image of you changes.

You start looking attractive to them and they remember the fun times that you both had together. They get curious about what’s going on with you and start missing you.

It makes your ex wonder whether they made a mistake by letting you go and if they should contact you. This contact may involve anything from calling or texting, to showing up at that event that you said you would attend.

Another way to get your text to talk to you first is by posting images and videos of you doing things that they love.

Keep doing this long enough and they might ask you about your sudden interest in these activities.

This strategy gets your ex to talk to you first, by counting on your ex using social media to watch you from afar. Their curiosity will get them to initiate contact as they seek to find out more about your experiences.

Conclusion

Follow these strategies and techniques if you want to get your ex to talk to you first.

These will not only get your ex to initiate contact but will change the way they view the breakup. These strategies give the power back to you and make your ex want to call you instead of the other way around.

An added advantage of following these strategies is that these help you to become a better person. So, work on yourself and take the time to realize what you need to change for the relationship to work better.

I hope these strategies help. I am also rooting for you, so, all the best!

Do you need more tips on how to get your ex to talk to you first? Let us know in the comment section below and we will get right back to you.