How to Get Back with Your Ex After a Breakup

It is always difficult to forget someone you love. You can move on but you never really forget the moments spent together. Sometimes these are bitter memories and you are happy to get away from your ex. But sometimes these memories are far too precious and you realize it only after the breakup.

You got so carried away at the moment that you thought that breakup was the best solution. But now, you have a change of heart. You miss your ex and everything about them. You miss the comfort and familiarity. If you are regretting your breakup and want to figure out how to get back with your ex, then we are here to help you. Read on to know more…

1. Give Them Space

Breakup is tough, but staying away when you want to get back with your ex can be tougher. You need to realize that approaching immediately after the breakup can backfire. You need to give your ex the time to calm down and you also need time to settle down.

Everyone needs some time off after a breakup. Sometimes running away from a problem helps. It gives you a clear perspective and you can understand things better when you are away from your ex.

Your ex will appreciate that you are not bothering them. If you were the possessive one, your ex might even get curious about why you are not approaching them. They will start seeing you in a new light, if you don’t behave aggressively.

Giving space is one way to get back with your ex. It will give both of you the time to get over the issues of your relationship, which led to the breakup. The things that you overlooked in the heat of the moment will become visible.

You need to give time to your ex to think thoroughly. You shouldn’t contact them during this period. Take at least a month before you contact them. But if they contact you first, then be responsive. If you need time, then ask for it. Don’t mess up the second chance, if you think you have not sorted your emotions.

2. Take Time to Think

You need some time alone after the breakup. You need to think about what went wrong. Who was at fault? Or, did both of you drift apart just because you couldn’t make time for each other? You should figure out the reason before you make a move to get back with your ex.

You need to know how deep is your grief. Is it something that you can get over or will it affect you permanently? You will obviously be sad after the breakup, but you need to analyze how sad you are. If it is beyond repair, then you know you have to get back with your ex.

You also need time to sort out your emotions. Sometimes we mistake loneliness for longing. You might just be feeling lonely. And, you think that getting back with your ex is the solution, whereas this might not be true. If you are lonely, then you just need to go out with your friends. But if you are still longing for your ex, then you need to come up with a plan to get back with your ex.

You need time to feel how much you miss your ex. Is their absence irreplaceable or would you easily forget them if you are with someone else? If your feelings are strong, then you need to do everything possible to get back with your ex.

3. Chalk Out a Plan

Once you have figured out and sorted your emotions, it is time to take some action. You need a plan and a timeframe to implement it. If you can do it successfully, you will be able to get back with your ex.

First, you need to work on yourself. You should focus on becoming a better version of yourself. Start with making small changes in your lifestyle. For example, you can join a gym and workout. You need to sweat it out to let go of some steam.

If your ex complained that you are clingy and needy, then it shows that you lack self-esteem. You need to work on your self-worth. Start by disconnecting with your ex and not calling them for at least a month. If you can do that, then your ex will know that you are not needy anymore.

You also need to focus on your strengths and work on your social skills and your appearance. You can take up some hobbies or develop skills that you always wanted to, but never had the time for. This will distract you and help you calm down. You can impress your ex with a new skill and help you get back with your ex.

4. Approach Directly

You spent a fair amount of time together. Your ex will appreciate it if you approach them directly instead of contacting their friends first. If they are the type who don’t share much with their friends, then connecting with their friends can get you in trouble.

To get back with your ex, it is always better if you are direct and to the point when you approach them. You need to express your feelings clearly. If you leave any ambiguity, then your ex might misinterpret you.

Always call them first. If they don’t respond, then text them that you want to meet. Let them take their time to reply. Don’t expect an immediate reply. Wait patiently and if you still don’t get a response, then text again after a few days. Don’t start calling them repeatedly if they don’t respond. You’ll just scare them away. If you wait, you will surely get to hear from them.

When they reply, ask them to meet you. Don’t try to have this conversation over a phone call. It is a serious issue and it is better to discuss it in person. This way you’ll be able to see your ex’s reaction.

5. Keep It Casual

When your ex agrees to meet you, don’t go overboard in planning the meeting. Remember that you are on a break. Do not meet at a fancy restaurant or over dinner. It is better to have this conversation with a cup of coffee and not alcohol. You don’t want their decision to be clouded because of alcohol.

When you meet your ex, try to put your best foot forward. Wear what they like to see you in and get a little makeover before you meet. Your ex should see what they are missing. Dress up like you did on your first date. This will remind your ex about the happy times.

Meet your ex like a friend. Ask them questions like how they are and what’s new in their life. Try to make them comfortable, before you start any heavy conversation. Look at them directly in their eyes when you converse. Don’t fidget or show nervousness. You need to be confident to get back with your ex.

6. Talk About Your Issues

When your ex is comfortable and starts talking to you casually, then bring up the heavy topic. Talk about the unresolved issues that led to the breakup. It is always better to prepare what you want to talk about, before you meet your ex. This will help you discuss relevant issues without indulging into unnecessary talks.

Once you have laid out your point of view, let the discussion flow naturally. Give your ex the time and patience to respond. Don’t rush things, if you are not hearing what you want. Be gentle and understanding. If you get restless, your ex might not feel comfortable talking about the breakup.

If there were things about your ex that bothered you before, then talk about them openly. If you want a fresh start, you will have to be honest. If you compromise just to get back with your ex, then all of those issues might trouble you in future.

When you talk about the things or habits that bothered you, your ex will definitely talk about stuff that bothered them. Don’t get angry, if you don’t agree with them. Handle it with patience and put your point across. If you think that you were at fault, then agree and apologize.

7. Apologize

In any relationship, if the damage is repairable, then a heartfelt apology is bound to get you back with your ex. If you realize that you contributed to the breakup in any way, then you should apologize to your ex. You will have to let go of your ego to ensure that the situation doesn’t get any worse.

Take responsibility for your actions and don’t try to put all of the blame on your ex. You will have to own up your mistakes, if you want to get back with your ex.

Also, don’t try to blame the situation. If the circumstances were such that your reaction was not normal, then assure your ex that you made a mistake and it will not happen again. Tell them that you are working on yourself and in the future, you will not let an adverse situation take control of your reaction.

When you apologize, don’t do it in the hope that they’ll apologize too, even if your ex was equally at fault. Your sincere sorry will definitely resonate with your ex, but if you demand an apology then things can go downhill. Wait for your ex to process your sorry. Let them analyze the situation and realize their fault. Your silence and patience will pay off.

8. Take It Slow

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Your ex might not agree to get back with you, but they are likely to agree to start as friends again. Consider it progress. Don’t get disappointed because you could not start your relationship from where you left off.

You will have to take it slow. Casually start calling and texting your ex. Then proceed to meet them casually for lunch or a cup of coffee. If things keep going well, then increase the frequency of meeting. The more they see you, the more they will start getting comfortable again.

Once your ex is comfortable in your company, you can slowly start flirting with them. Time it correctly, don’t hurry up before your ex is ready, else you might scare them off. And don’t take too much time, else you might get friendzoned.

Another great way to spend time together is to join a hobby class together. If you learn something together, you will bond more naturally. You can explore new sides of each other. This can breathe fresh life into your relationship and help you get back with your ex.

Conclusion

No matter who initiated the breakup, if you want to get back with your ex, then you will have to make the effort. Do whatever it takes to put your point across. Let your ex know how much you miss them. Communication is the key when you want to get back with your ex. If they don’t know your true feelings, you will not be able to make any progress.

If after all the effort, your ex does not reciprocate, then you need to be strong and move on. Don’t go begging and crying. Don’t let your ex walk all over you just because you are in love. Being in love does not mean losing your dignity.

Give your best shot. If your ex is your soulmate, then things will surely work out. You just need to be true to yourself and not let the breakup bring your spirit down. So, chin up and go get back with your ex. We wish you luck!!

If you think we were able to help you in any way, then do let us know. Leave your comments and suggestions below.