It has been said, perhaps correctly, that love comes only once in a lifetime. It may not be the first person you meet, or even the one you are currently with. It could be someone you meet much later on in life who ends up being your soul mate. While the thought of being separated from your soul mate can be distressing, there are some things beyond our control which can lead to the end of a relationship.
But when it is true love, even after a breakup, there just isn’t any kind of closure. It doesn’t matter who you date afterwards, your heart still belongs to that one special person.
If after a breakup your feelings haven’t changed, and you still feel the same way about your ex, it might not be a bad idea to make amends and try to get him back into your life. However, these kinds of situations can get complicated. For instance, what if you are already dating someone else and your ex is aware of it. That can get messy. Of course you cannot be with two people at the same time, that would be unfair to both of them and to you.
What you need is a way out, so you can focus on getting back together with your ex, without hurting or creating new problems the current one.
Tips for Getting Your Ex Back When He Knows You’re Dating Someone Else
Although it is difficult and chances are you will end up breaking someone’s heart, you can try the following ways to stop a bad situation from getting worse.
First you need to consider the implications of your move:
- Your current partner might accuse you of cheating on him.
- Since you still have feelings for your ex, it implies that your current partner is just a rebound and not someone you really care about. This may not go down well.
- Your ex might have some reservations, since you are leaving someone else for him. He is likely to get the impression that you are not as sincere as you say.
- Your ex may not want to pick up where you left off, and there is a good chance for serious misunderstandings because of this.
The fact is; there are going to be complications. But if the truly is someone you can’t live without, then you must do what you must do. Here are some tips to help reduce and avoid some of the inevitable complications.
#1. Keep Your Cool
Although it is stressful putting yourself out there, keep yourself calm because losing your cool won’t make things better. Women tend to get extra tense in these kinds of situations without realizing that being panicky could easily push your ex farther away.
#2. Make Your Moves Carefully
The more emotions and feelings involved in your situation, the more careful you need to be. Measure your moves carefully since one wrong step can spoil the whole thing. Decide on how, when, and where you will explain it to your current partner as well as to your ex.
#3. Come Clean About Your Feelings with Your Current Partner
You need to be completely honest with the person you are currently dating. You owe him that. Even if you know is going to be painful for him, you need to face him and tell the truth. It may not save you any embarrassment, or him the pain, but it will show that you are honest and have the courage to tell the truth. It also let’s him know that you did not mean to hurt him intentionally. You just had to tell him the truth and save him from further pain. He will definitely respect you if you’re honest and sincere. He may even forgive you.
#4. Let Your Ex Know You Are Single Again
After you have closed the chapter with current partner, make it known that you are single again. However, don’t make your intentions too obvious. It might startle off your ex. Tell your friends and family about the relationship being over, but don’t go into details about why you called it quits.
#5. Use the Social Media to Reconnect
We live in a world where almost every kind of interaction can take place over social media. Set your relationship status to ‘single’ and make sure it shows up on all your friends’ news feeds. All you have to do is, not talk about it too much and wait for the word to spread. The news will reach your ex in time, whether or not he is still on your friend list.
#6. Get in Touch With Your Ex
If he is still interested in you, he will try to get back in touch. If he doesn’t make the first move, don’t be impatient and try to get in touch with him immediately. Wait a while before you go ahead with it. You don’t want him thinking that you became single again just to get him back, and that you’re just some stalker ex-girlfriend. So again, just be patient and wait for the right time to get in touch.
#7. Start the Communication
When you do get back in touch, have an idea of what you are going to talk about. Pick something you know he’s interested in for your ice-breaker. DO NOT bring up the past right at the beginning. Talking about the times you spent together might freak him out and will make you look desperate. Start with casual chit-chat, maybe about something that he has recently shared on Twitter or Facebook. The point is you’re talking to each other.
#8. Tell Him About Your Relationship Status
Once you’re sure there won’t be any awkwardness, you can slowly and subtly bring up the subject of other relationships. If he still likes you, he will probably bring it up himself. This is your chance to tell him how you feel about him and that you would like to give it another shot, now that there is no one else between you.
#9. Make the Second Chance Worth It
If he agrees to give the relationship a second chance, after knowing what you have been through, make sure you don’t let him down. Put 100% of yourself into making it work this time. Second chances are rare and even harder to live up to.
Whatever goes into any relationship takes two people. When one person falls, the other can’t be expected to just carry the load of the relationship. Sure, they should help the other back up, but that person has to want to get back up. And they have to want to be helped up, and continue to fight for the good thing they share. An “Old Saying” is an old saying because it’s usually true; in this case actions speak louder than words.
Reunite With Your Ex-Partner
This 14-day relationship program will help you learn how to take responsibility for your relationship, repair your mistakes, and build a stronger and happier relationship with your ex.
You’ll learn how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and resolve conflict in a healthy manner. By the end of this program, you’ll have the necessary tools you need to get your ex back and build a strong, lasting relationship.
I found the title somewhat queer so thought of going through it. I think anyone who has landed in a situation like this has already messed up things quite badly. Why would you date someone else if you want to go back to your ex? If you are still in love with someone and badly want to go back to him then please do not raise someone’s hopes and then crush it. I liked the piece though. I think the tips here suggest the best possible way someone can pull this off.
A few months after my break up with my boyfriend I started dating someone else. But few weeks into it I realized that he is only a rebound, although I had no intention of going back to my ex, it was over forever. But I realized that if I continue to be with this guy I will not only be doing injustice to him, but also to myseelf. I cannot bear to do wrong to someone knowlingly. I told him the truth and to my relief, he believed me and we could draw a line to the so-called relationship without too much of complexities.
Thanks for the tips. I had one of my friends read it, because she has been going through a similar phase. Although she was not exactly seeing someone specific, but her ex kind of assumed that she was. True that its terrible to even think that someone who made you fall for her is not in love with you and still craves for an ex. I think if you’re not sure about someone, it is better not to fool around with that person. If I cannot respect other people’s feeling, I cannot expect others to respect mine as well. It was a great read and also very practical. A perfect advise for girls stuck in a dilemma.
It is such a tough job! And there is also no guarantee that the ex is even willing to get back. Ladies, don’t just break someone’s heart because of your own indecisiveness! Love is a weird thing and can make you do things you never imagined you can do. But let those be nice things, not something that would leave a bad impression on someone about relationships and love.
I was stuck in a similar dilemma and it was such a testing phase for me. I could hardly concentrate on anything. I could not totally get over my ex, and yet I was dating someone else. And the worst part was this guy who I was dating was in love with me. But when I could continue it no longer, I came clean with him. He asked me to take my time and decide what I really want. I tried to reconnect with my ex, but I did not feel the same connection anymore. I understood, that he was no longer meant for me. I did not get back to the other guy as well. No, I am happily single and I am in touch with none of these guys. And it is so peaceful.
I came to read this article because I found it to be quite an unusual blog. But well written no doubt. I wonder what I would do if I ever have to go through a situation like this. But one thing I can vouch for about myself is that I will not date a man until I have really started liking him. And yes, there will be no space for an ex. I understand that human emotions can work in a strange and unpredictable manne, but I personally believe that there is no point crying over spilled milk. It is better to look forward to a new life and a new start.
I personally believe that once a couple breaks up, there isn’t really much left to the relationship. No matter how hard you try to restore the old times, it won’t happen, because it leaves such deep scars that literally never heals. So, my suggestion is instead of craving for your ex, try to find someone who is fit for you. Never even go for rebounds, they cannot help you get over someone. You are only going to feel more terrible. And if you are already dating someone, make sure you don’t have to leave him for someone else, even if that someone is your ex.
Yes, I agree with this explanation. If you have to let go of someone, do it in a less hurtful way. And to lie would be to disrespect the other person. It is better to tell the truth and bear the brunt. Also it is important to close one chapter completely before beginning another one. So, if an ex is doubtful that you are dating someone else, one should first clear their stance. If I saw my ex dating someone else I would draw myself away from him. And chances are I will not want to be with him again, even if he leaves the current partner to ne with me. Ofcourse it would leave me with a skeptic mind. If he can leave her for me, he can leave me again for someone else! I think men would also have a similar concern.
I know there are many people out there who do not know what they want. And it is a very good article for those who are in two minds. Being someone’s rebound is the worst thing that can happen to you. It can torn you up and just completely jeopardize you. So, I think if someone hasn’t gotten over their past they should remain single and gather themselves up first before moving on to someone else. If you think you have been wronged then you should also try not to do wrong things to others. A nice article for those suffering from this dilemma. It is indeed the best someone can do.
This is the best I can do at the moment. I have fallen so deep in the pit that I cannot find a way to get out of this. I haven’t been doing the right thing and I get it. But I needed someone to guide me. I am a very private person and do not share my problems with anyone, except for those who are really very close to me. And even they are not always ready to listen. Looking up the net was everything I could do to calm down the condradicting thoughts whirling in mind all the time. I am thankful that I found this article and it appears there is nothing I can do than just tell him the truth and put the confusion at rest. Dating someone right after the break up was the worst thing.