How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back (Step-by-Step Guide)

People make mistakes all the time and it is a great learning process. But it is important to rectify those mistakes. If you made the mistake of breaking up with your girlfriend or you made a mistake, and she broke up with you, then you should do everything possible to get her back.

You cannot turn back time and stop your break up, but you can definitely win her heart back, and we will tell you how to get your ex-girlfriend back.

If you can communicate your feelings truly and clearly, then she may understand and forgive you. You need to do everything that made her fall in love with you and more than that to attract her again.

Here is a step-by-step guide to help you get through the tough phase of pursuing your love. We have compiled a list that will help you get your ex-girlfriend back.

1. Who Broke Up with Whom?

Before you do anything, there are a few things that you need to understand and do accordingly. Take time to think about who initiated the break up first. Was it you or her? And what was the main issue of the breakup? The level of persuasion to get your ex-girlfriend back will depend on who dumped whom.

If you were the one who dumped your ex-girlfriend, then prepare yourself for some serious begging and apologizing. She will not let go of that easily until you assure her that this is not how you feel anymore and you made a mistake. You will have to express your love and how much you miss her.

If you were the one who got dumped, then first you need to find the root cause of the problem and solve it. If it is something that can be settled by you working on it alone, then do it.

But if it involves your ex-girlfriend as well, get in touch with her to discuss the issue. Not immediately, read the whole guide first and follow the steps.

2. Why Did You Breakup?

The next step is to understand why you broke up. We will go through some common issues in every relationship. With each issue, we will provide a solution on how to get your ex-girlfriend back. So, read on and figure out your issue…

Controlling Issues

The most common scenario in relationships is that either person is a controlling and possessive type. You need to ask yourself, did you try to control your ex-girlfriend too much?

Did you always suggest what to wear and how to conduct herself in public? When you were at a party, was your focus on other people checking out your girl and later you got angry with her? Did you always ask her whereabouts?

If the answer is yes, then you are controlling and possessive and that is probably what led your girl to run away from you. If the similar questions hold true for her, then your ex-girlfriend was the controlling and possessive type and you ended because you have had enough of this behavior.

You need to understand that she is not your property. She has her personality and you need to respect boundaries. If you can’t control this part of your personality, then there is no need to even go any further because you will keep making the same mistake and she will break up with you again.

Insecurity and Jealousy

Another of the most common issues is insecurity and jealousy. Were you always worried about who she was hanging out with? Did it bother you if she had male friends? Did you secretly check her phone? Were you always worried that she might leave you for someone better looking?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you were insecure and jealous in your relationship. This shows your weak personality and lack of confidence.

This can easily put your partner off and drive her away. A relationship based on a foundation of insecurity is bound to fall.

You will have to work on your personality and build your confidence. You need to focus on your positive attributes and improve your negatives. Work on your appearance if that is the cause of your insecurity. A little jealousy is healthy in a relationship, but too much will ruin it.

If the answer is no, but you feel that all of these questions apply to your ex-girlfriend, then you will have to work and build her confidence in your relationship. You will have to assure her that she need not worry about these trivial things because she is your priority.

No Spark

Do you think that the major reason for your breakup was that there was no spark between you two? If so, then what is the reason?

Were you not paying attention to your appearance or was it your ex-girlfriend? Were you two not spending enough time with each other? Were you too nice and predictable? Did you stop doing fun activities together?

If the answer is yes, then you both lost attraction and that can be fatal for a relationship. You need to work on and invest time in a relationship.

Give her occasional surprises. Get her flowers and gifts without any occasion. Participate in an activity together to strengthen your bond.

You have to keep the spark alive and make things interesting. If the relationship gets boring, then it is highly likely to end sooner or later.

It doesn’t matter who takes the initiative, the important thing is that you both are a part of it and feel happy together.

3. Take and Give Time

Once you find out the reason for your breakup, then you can work towards a solution. To do all this, you need time. Don’t rush things and make a hasty decision.

Go through the entire chain of events slowly and carefully. Don’t miss any details because everything is of importance when you are mending broken hearts.

Take time, and also give space to your ex-girlfriend. Before you proceed further into how to get your ex-girlfriend back, you need to be mentally strong and stable. If you are still reeling from the effects of the breakup, then you will not be able to make sound decisions.

To get your ex-girlfriend back, you need persistence but that won’t happen if you are not in control of the situation. Your ex-girlfriend may give you a hard time and you need to be prepared for any situation that she throws in your way.

Also, she will deal with the breakup in her own way. She will find this time away from you unusual and will have to wrap her head around the breakup.

The distance will give her a fresh perspective on recent events. The more clarity she gets, it will be easier for you to deal with the situation. The distance can make the heart grow fonder. And you never know she might be missing you too.

4. Check Her Availability

The next actionable step of this “how to get your ex-girlfriend back guide” is to check her availability. Is she single or has she moved on to another relationship? This very important to know before you figure out the next step.

You may not be able to get this kind of information yourself. You may have to get in touch with her friends. Have a speech ready for her friends and convince them that you are still in love with her and want to get her back.

If you got dumped, then you might have the sympathy of her friends. But if you initiated the breakup,then you will have to feel their wrath first. Be patient and hear their accusations patiently.

Apologize to her friends and tell them that you are a changed person now and ask them to tell you her relationship status. Ask them if she talks about you and what are her feelings for you. Is she angry or sad? Once you know how she feels, you can work on getting your ex-girlfriend back accordingly.

You should also check her social media accounts to see what kind of posts she is uploading. Are her posts happy or sad? That will tell a lot about what she is thinking and feeling.

Also if she is in a relationship and has updated her status, then you can check out her current love interest to see what you are up against. This will help you prepare for the competition.

5. Casually Approach Her

Once you have figured out why you guys broke up and how is she feeling now, you can take the next step, which is to approach her.

Make it casual and a chance meeting. See how she reacts to seeing you. Her reaction will tell you a lot about how to get your ex-girlfriend back.

Work on your appearance before you plan to meet her. Start working out and flex those muscles. Go to a salon and get a facial… Yes, we said facial!

It’s okay to pamper yourself and groom your appearance. If your ex-girlfriend sees the differences you have made to yourself she will know that you are willing to work on the relationship.

When you approach, ask her how she has been. Try to establish contact again and ask her if it is okay to call her sometime.

Hopefully, she will not be able to say no to your casual and polite approach.

Make sure that you don’t show your nervousness and anxiousness. In no way should you give away your intentions of getting your ex-girlfriend back.

6. Offer Friendship

After you’ve made contact, try to work out a way to meet or call her regularly. Offer to be her friend. That way, you will stay in touch with her as naturally as possible. This will also give you a chance to call her often. You can get close to her again and find out what is happening in her life.

Start by sending her texts. You can send casual texts like jokes and forwards that may be of interest to her. Send messages that will prompt her to reply to you, like “How was your day?” or “How have you been?”

She will like your concern and this can help you start chatting with her regularly.

Once you establish a connection, you can propose a meeting. Ask her out for coffee or a movie, keep it informal. Start hanging out with her more often.

You can ask her to go out and do things that you both enjoy. This will give you both more time together and you can show her your fun side. Flirt occasionally to keep the attraction alive. Charm her with subtle compliments.

Be her friend and confidant. Be there when she wants you. She should be able to depend on you. Soon she will realize that you are the one person who understands her better and will always be there for her.

7. Sort Out All the Issues

When you get frank and casual with her and she lets her guard down, then slowly start discussing your breakup.

She might get uncomfortable initially but try not to pressure her to talk. If she doesn’t want to discuss, then stop and find some other suitable time.

When the time is right, talk again. Be persistent, she will eventually give up and talk about the breakup. Grab the opportunity and discuss everything that you think was the cause of your break up.

Listen to what she has to say and don’t just talk about your issues. You cannot expect her to be reasonable at this time but you can because you have thought things through. Show her your mature side and answer all of her questions with patience.

Assure her that you are there to stay and want to give the relationship another chance. Tell her that you understand her anger and will do anything to make up for it.

8. Propose a Fresh Start

To get your ex-girlfriend back, suggest a fresh start. Do this only after you feel all the issues are settled and both of you are at peace with your current situation.

She may say, “no” if she is seeing someone else but this should not make you lose your motivation. You just have to show her how much you have changed and are willing to make an effort to make the relationship work.

If your ex-girlfriend was insecure due to your out-going nature, then you may have to promise her that you will not overindulge your friends and give her more time. If she is jealous that you hang out more with your female friends, then you may have to keep some appropriate distance or explain that you are just friends and nothing more.

If you were controlling and possessive type, then you will have to relax a bit. Assure her that you will not probe too much into her life and let her be. You will not control her or try to change her. You will happily accept her the way she is and not nag her if she does something that you don’t approve of. You will have to let her breathe.

Commit to each other that you will not repeat the same mistakes that you made the first time. Try to take it slow and avoid physical connection, no matter how hard it is for both of you.

Take your relationship to the next level only after you both feel that you have overcome all of your issues and are not bringing up the past. Make her feel loved and valued. That is how you will get your ex-girlfriend back.

Conclusion

If you were the one who dumped your girlfriend, then you need to sort out all of the events that led you to make that decision. If you cannot understand your feelings, then it will be very difficult to convince your ex-girlfriend to come back to you.

Whatever the reason, now you know that you miss her and want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back. The reason isn’t important, your feelings are.

Be true to yourself and approach her with 100% sincerity. She has likely known you for a long time and will definitely see your true intentions. If you follow our advice, you may be able to get your ex-girlfriend back.

We hope that we were able to give you some clarity as to how to get your ex-girlfriend back. If you have any questions or you feel that your situation is different and needs help, then do let us know. You can leave your comments and suggestions below.