9 Useful Psychological Tricks to Get Your Ex Back

Breakups are hard. It’s difficult to get over someone you’ve been planning a future with, especially if you still love them.

But, it doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship, especially if you still want to get back with them. That is where these psychological tricks to get your ex back come in. These will give you a chance to work things out with them and, hopefully, revive the relationship.

However, before we get into the psychological tricks, we need to find out if you really want to get your ex back.

And, if they left you once, what will make them stay this time?

These psychological tricks we discuss below will help you get your ex back, but can you keep them once they are back?

It’d be sad if you succeeded in getting them back, only to lose them immediately.

How can you avoid this?

Address the problems that led to the breakup in the first place. Fail to solve those and they will surface again to ruin the relationship.

So, before we get into the psychological tricks to get your ex back, ask yourself this:

• Do I really want to get my ex back?
• Is the relationship worth saving?
• What led to the breakup? Can we solve the problem?
• Is my ex worth the effort?
• Did the relationship make me happy or sad?
• Did they treat me right?
• Why do I want to give it another try?
• Do I see a future with them?

These may sound like strange questions, but you don’t want to get back with them for the wrong reasons.

Why do I say this?

When a relationship ends, there are a lot of negative feelings. Anger, sadness, confusion, depression, and other feelings accompany a breakup. It may be easy to confuse these feelings for love. Just because you are sad hurting does not always mean that you need to get your ex back.

If you get back to the relationship for the wrong reasons, then it won’t last long and might end up hurting you even more.

Think about how they treated you in the past.

When did things start going wrong? What triggered the negative emotions?

Honest answers to these questions will help you decide if it’s really a good idea to get back together. In any case, give yourself time to heal so that you are not emotional when making this decision.

Once you are sure that you want your ex back, use these psychological tricks.

How to Get Your Ex Back by Playing on Their Psychology

It’s important to note that none of the psychological tricks to get your ex back will harm your ex. None of these methods will cause them pain or destroy their self-esteem. These are ways to win their love back without making them feel bad or being a jerk.

Okay then, let’s get started.

1. Control Yourself

When he/she tells you that the relationship is over, try to stay calm, agree with them, and keep your cool.

Do not plead or beg. Otherwise, you might drive your ex further away and give them the satisfaction of thinking that they were right to break up with you.

What should you do?

Tell them that you saw this coming and fully understand why they want the relationship to end.

It will make them wonder what just happened and why you are not screaming or crying. You place the ball in their court again leaving them wondering whether they made the right decision.

Another important thing is to not talk badly of them after the breakup. Do not post hurtful or accusatory messages on social media or send abusive texts.

You are hurting and need to vent out, but do that in a better way. There are other avenues you can use to let your feelings out. Talk to your friends or family, write in your journal, cry, rejuvenate in the wild, etc.

So, if you want to get your ex back, do not commit social media sins that may ruin your chances.

This psychological trick lets your ex believe that you are doing fine even without them.

2. Detox Yourself and Make Yourself Better

With this psychological trick, you work on yourself to get your ex back.

What do I mean by this?

After the breakup, you may feel the urge to spend most of your time thinking about the relationship. You analyze everything and wonder what you could’ve done better.

It’s understandable. You did spend weeks, months, or even years making memories and planning for a future together.

The problem is feeding into these thoughts. Doing that does not help you. Instead, it hurts you even more and drains your energy.

You forget someone else who is equally important: YOU!

So, what can you do?

Detox. Work on yourself. Make yourself better.

But how do you stop thinking about the relationship?

It will not be easy, but it’s doable.

When your thoughts wander to the relationship and what could have been, avoid feeding into them. Stop obsessing about your ex.

Don’t let these thoughts take too much of your time. Don’t obsess over the problems that led to the breakup, things you both should have done, or why the relationship failed.

Stop wondering what they are currently doing or whether this was a horrible decision. Don’t show regret and stop spending too much time wondering if you will get your ex back.

Instead, work on yourself. Hit the gym, run, go for a hike, take a camping trip, anything that lifts your spirits and energizes you.

But, that’s not all.

To get your ex back and keep him, you also need to work on the flaws that contributed to the breakup.

You should also change your routines. Being in a relationship mostly means you have favorite places you go to hang out or something you both loved doing. Break those routines, visit other places, and do other activities that don’t remind you of your time with them.

Use this time to rediscover who you are without them. Learn new skills or go back to old hobbies for comfort.

But how is this a psychological trick?

First, doing this makes you a better person and gives you a new perspective on your relationship. You can now clearly see whether you really want to be in a relationship with them or not?

Second, this psychological trick gets your ex to realize what an amazing person you are and how much they want you back.

3. Don’t Be Too Available

Do not start trying to get your ex back right away.

I know it’s going to be hard, and you cannot see yourself living one more second without your ex. But, you must try.

You don’t want to look desperate. It will only push your ex further away.

This psychological trick helps you get your ex back by giving them a chance to miss you.

Have a no contact period that lasts for at least four weeks.

What does no contact mean?

It means that you cannot:

• Text them
• Call them
• Contact them via social media or email
• “Accidentally” run into them
• Spend time with friends you have in common in the hopes of running into them

This unavailability will make them miss you more and make them want to see you or hear from you.

4. Live Your Best Life

Have you ever found yourself admiring pictures of your friends going out, having fun, and traveling the world? Do you wish you had the time and money to join them or go by yourself?

This next psychological trick to get your ex back will involve showcasing your good life to them. Share pictures and videos of yourself having fun on social media. It could be a party you attended, a hike you did, a camping trip that lifted your spirits, etc.

It may not be easy to appear happy while you’re hurting inside, but make an effort.

Your ex will not want to come back if they think you are still grieving. But, when they see you having fun, they will remember the fun times they had with you.

They may also get frustrated by seeing you have fun without them. It may also make your ex jealous and they may keep checking your posts to see what you are up to next.

5. Get a Makeover

Getting a makeover is one of the best psychological tricks for getting your ex back.

Changing how you look makes you seem like you have regained some control over your life.

I don’t mean go overboard and cut off all your hair or dye it blue. If you want to get your ex back, you cannot let emotions dictate your makeover.

Some of the things you can do include changing your hairstyle or changing your wardrobe. You can also get a stylist to do your makeup or find a new way to do it yourself.

This psychological trick to get your ex back helps them see a new side of you. It brings out a new you that will catch your ex’s attention and pique their interest.

6. Learn to Say NO!

Do not be too agreeable.

You want them back, yes, but don’t let them make you a doormat. It’s not an ideal time to do everything your ex asks you to do.

Agreeing will make you too available while also pushing them further away from you, emotionally.

This psychological trick prevents you from being your ex’s go-to person when they need favors.

Relationships breed patterns and, when you were together, you must have had things that you did for each other. Now that the relationship is over, this needs to stop.

Continuing to do things for them will not help you get your ex back. It will actually make it harder for them to reconcile with you.

If you want to get your ex back, don’t sell yourself short. Let them see that you are an independent person who sticks up for what they want.

This psychological trick makes you more interesting and hard to get. Soon, they may start texting you and ask you to go out.

7. Don’t Show Jealousy

You know that thought that you’ve been nursing about stalking them?

Yeah, let it be just that—a thought. Don’t actualize it.

Jealousy does not look good on anyone. It will make your ex have an incredibly low opinion of you.

If you want to get your ex back, don’t show them that you haven’t moved on. Don’t be clingy too, as it makes you look pathetic. Threatening to hurt yourself will also not help the situation.

The psychological trick here is to act indifferently. Show that you can live without them and that you are not afraid to do so.

Don’t be rude about it though, if you want to get your ex back.

8. Become Unattainable

How should you respond if your ex texts or calls?

Play hard to get.

It is one of the oldest psychological tricks in the book to help you get your ex back. When they call, act like you are busy and have other things to take care of. Don’t always be available.

Make them realize that they do not get to dump you and then have you at their beck and call.

I don’t mean cut off all conversations. Instead, be cordial. Maintain a distance and, when you finally meet, apply the psychological tricks mentioned above.

Be your best self, look good, feel good, and act like you have a fresh lease on life. Let them see how good your life has become without them.

How does this psychological trick help you get your ex back?

As humans, we find ourselves wanting what we can’t have. They will realize that you have no time for them and may never see you again. They will then start missing you and, eventually, want to work on the relationship.

9. Contact Them

Once you are ready to get back with your ex and are sure that they are not dating someone else, ask them to meet you. Let it be in an open and casual place so that they don’t feel pressured into staying long if uncomfortable.

The meeting may be awkward at first, but now, you’ve healed and know that it’s the right thing for your relationship.

For a short-term relationship (one that had not lasted long), ask them if they are free to hang out. If it was long term, be honest. Tell your ex you miss them and that you want to meet and talk.

Once they show up, don’t try to warm them up. Chances are that they already know why you wanted to meet. Get right to the point.

Clarify any issues, apologize, and build a case for why you should give the relationship a second chance. Let them know that you’ve given this some thought and are serious about getting back together.

Once done, give them time to ponder it. They may be enthusiastic about the idea or not. Either way, accept their decision.

Use the time left together to reminisce about what made your relationship work in the past. Remember the fond memories and end the conversation on a positive note.

This psychological trick will make them remember how good it was to spend time with you. They will also admire the changes that you’ve made to your life.

Are You Ready to Get Your Ex Back with These Psychological Tricks?

I hope these psychological tricks help you get your ex back. They may sound manipulative, but they actually help you become a better version of yourself. You can then win your ex back by making them realize how much they need you in their life.

Want to get more tips to help you get your ex back? Tell us in the comments below.

All the best!