You want to get back together with your ex, but you’re not sure whether or not you should try to win them back. This confusion is only natural. A lot of people are in the same boat as you. In the aftermath of a break-up, most of us wonder if we made the right choice by ending things. We ask ourselves, over and over again, countless questions, most of which start with, “What if…?” Probably one of the biggest questions that hangs over our heads is, “Should I get back together with my ex?” This post-break up doubt is totally normal.
Couples break up for a lot of different reasons. Some break ups are mutual, while others are caused by silly arguments, cheating, differences in goals, or other issues. Most break-ups result in heartaches and tears, with a lot of lingering memories that only make it harder to move on. Especially when they are good memories. Hell! Even the painful ones make us miss our exes sometimes.
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Ending a relationship is usually difficult, even when it is a mutual break up. Sometimes, it doesn’t take you too long to move on after a break up. Other times, you can’t stop thinking about your ex, and you keep wondering if breaking up with them was a huge mistake. It’s hard to know if you need more time to move on, or if you should get back with your ex. If you’re unsure about the break up, here are the signs that it might be worth trying to win your ex back.
#1. Your Ex Calls or Texts
It feels good to receive a call or a text from an ex you’ve been missing, especially if you’ve been following the No-Contact rule after the break up. If you receive a call or a text from them, you know your ex is thinking about you, and is still interested in you. It may not mean that they want you back right away, or that you should run back rejoicing. But a call or a text is definitely a good sign. It wouldn’t hurt to keep the conversation going, and see how things progress from there.
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Lots of people make a drunken phone call to an ex. There’s a saying, “A drunken mouth speaks a sober mind.” This may be applicable if your ex calls you while they’re drunk, and tells you how much they still love you. They may be telling the truth. That late night, drunken phone call may mean that they can’t hold back any longer. The same goes for texting. They’re both good signs if you wish to get back with your ex.
Keep in mind that you shouldn’t share your feelings when the other party is really drunk. Tell them that you’d rather talk about it when they are sober. If they become suddenly cold and distant the next day, it’s best to just drop it. Assume the stupid, drunk call or text was a mistake, and don’t try to get back with your ex.
#2. It Was a Stupid Argument
All couples fight and argue, often about the silliest things. It’s totally normal to have a heated argument once in a while, as long as it doesn’t get physical. Arguments and fights can be a healthy way for a relationship to grow. Sometimes we say hurtful things, but don’t actually mean them.
What should you do if you said some hurtful words during a fight, and that caused a break-up you didn’t actually want? Maybe you were filled with so much anger, you lost control. Or maybe your ego got the better of you. It’s easy to say all the wrong things during a fight. Often, things get said in the heat of the moment, without really thinking them through. Afterwards, you regret the things you said, and the fight seems so stupid when you look back at it. This is a sign that maybe you should get back with your lover, and ask them for another chance.
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Before you try to win your ex back, realize that it probably wasn’t a good relationship if you and your ex had a lot of heated fights. It’s unhealthy for the both of you. Maybe the make-up sex was awesome. But things will get a whole lot more complicated if you get back together and eventually get married and have children. If you’ve been having an on-again-off-again relationship, make sure you can figure out how to fight less, and learn to compromise if you’re going to get back with your ex.
#3. You Had Your Differences
They say that opposites attract, but when there’s too many opposites and differences in a relationship, it can result in stress, and lead to break-ups. A lot of the time, opposites attack instead of attract. You hate sports, and he’s a hardcore football fan. You love reading and having quiet moments, but he enjoys loud music. You are organized, and he is a slob. You are a vegetarian, and he is a carnivore.
The list goes on and on, and you started to wonder why you were even trying to have a relationship with someone who is your opposite in almost every way. If you couldn’t agree on simple life choices, it made you wonder about the important life choices that you two would have to make together. Should you even try to get your ex back if this was the case?
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At the same time, too many similarities can be boring. So, accept the fact that some differences simply can’t be changed. After some time has passed, you might both find yourselves open to change, and be able to find solutions for your differences, that benefit the both of you. In such cases, where adjustments and compromises are possible, you can try and win your ex back.
After all, who would want to be married to someone who is exactly like themselves? That’s like marrying yourself! You should be glad to be with someone who is a little different from you, because we all need someone who is good at something we’re bad at. Don’t hesitate to get back with an ex and try to work out your differences.
#4. Everyone Thinks You Should Get Back Together
It’s a good sign if your besties, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, aunts, grandmas, parents, and even the postman think that you should get back with your ex. They know you’re just miserable without your significant other, and maybe even suggest that you should give it another go. All relationships go through a rough patch from time to time, and sometimes breaking up is not the best solution. It just makes you wonder if you should get back with your lover or not.
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If you’ve been having second thoughts about your recent break-up, go talk to the people whom you hold nearest to your heart. Make sure they’re comfortable enough to share their honest opinions about the possibility of you getting back with your ex. Your loved ones always want what’s best for you. If they all think that you should get back with your ex, maybe you should try to get back together. Start working on how to win back your partner.
#5. The Timing Was Wrong
Timing is crucial in relationships. Ever heard the saying, “The right person, the wrong time”? That can really happen.
Maybe you had to break up because of long distance, (and we all know how stressful long distance relationships can be). Maybe you had other priorities, such as a career, education, or family when you met your lover, and the timing was just not right. Many other factors could have been the reason behind your break-up as well. But if you meet each other again, after some time has passed, and still feel the same way about each other, it’s okay to rethink that break up, and start trying to get back together.
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Some people feel strongly that if it’s meant to be, it will be. But you don’t have to wait on fate to bring the two of you together again. Sometimes it never happens again, and you only got one shot. If distance was the reason you called it quits, and you’re in the same city now, work on how to get back with your ex and start making plans. If you’ve learned that some factors and issues have been solved or gone away, consider yourself very fortunate to have been given another chance. Get to work right away on how to win your ex back.
#6. Your Ex Hasn’t Started Dating After the Break-up
If your ex-lover is still single and so are you, then it’s a good sign to get back together before someone new is involved. Not going off on a dating spree right away tells you that your lover is also having a hard time moving on. Of course, there may have been rebounds, but we all know what these rebounds really are. So don’t blame your ex for those, even though they may sting. Your ex-lover may also try to hide their dating life from you. This could also be a sign that they want you back. If they didn’t want to get back with you, they wouldn’t hide their new relationship from you in the first place.
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At the same time, it would be wise to take cautious steps. Your ex may just be enjoying being single without necessarily wanting you back. Just remember that being single doesn’t always mean they are stuck and waiting on you to come back. Before you make any move to try to win back your ex, make sure you know the real reason why he or she is still single. You can ask their friends, or someone who is close to them.
#7. No One Can Take Your Ex’s Place
Some time has passed and you try to move on, and start dating again, but none of these new partners could take your ex’s place. If no one can seem to compete with the memory of your former lover, then you’re probably not ready to move on. Take a step back instead and try to win your ex back. Maybe you’ve realized all the ways your partner was perfect, despite all those times you thought you were just not compatible for each other. We humans tend to appreciate things only after we have lost them.
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Here’s how to approach the situation when you want your ex back. Admit that you had been totally taking them for granted, and you never realized how much all the little things they did for you mattered. Apologize for what you did wrong if you played your part in the downfall of your relationship. And above all, tell them that they were perfect for you and no one could ever replace them.
#8. Talking About Those Good Old Times
You and your ex are back in contact and may even start talking again. If he or she starts to talk about all the fun you two had together, the small details about that particular day, or even mention how they miss that day, then it’s a sign that they are thinking about getting back together. It’s certain that they miss you and the fun you had during your relationship. If you’ve been feeling the same way, then perhaps it’s time to try and get back together and create more memories that will surely last forever this time.
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Remember not to go overboard, or seem needy once your ex starts to talk about the good times you had. Play it cool. Be subtle when you let them know you also miss those times. As much as reminiscing about old times may mean that they want you back, it could also mean that they just miss the memory without missing you enough to want to get back together.
#9. You Are Miserable Without Each Other
This is inevitable. You will feel miserable without your partner. You might be constantly reminded of them after the breakup, which gets you thinking you should get your ex back immediately. There is always something to remind you of them. It could get to the point where you ask yourself how the heck you ever walked on this earth without your significant other before you met. These things eventually go away. But sometimes, they don’t. The more time you spend apart, the more you realize that two is better than one and, you’re better together than apart. Some couples realize only after a break up that they made such a great team.
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If you happen to bump into one of their friends and they tell you that your ex has been a complete mess and is miserable without you, you can guarantee that they’re still not over you. This is a sure sign to get back and start working on what to say when you want your ex back. It’s as easy as sending a simple, “Hi,” message, or smile and compliment them on something when you bump into each other. Leave it open for them to contact you afterwards. Don’t hesitate to make the first move, and try to win back your partner. Why suffer any longer when you know you are miserable without each other?
#10. Your Ex is Sincerely Apologetic
So your lover did you wrong and you called it quits. But now they’ve started calling again, and want to make things up to you. Then it’s a good sign to rethink the breakup. If your partner is truly sorry and doesn’t use the apology as a defense, or ruin it with an excuse, then you should get back with your partner. People do really change, and mean it when they say sorry. So don’t hesitate to get back with your ex and give it another try.
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Relationships that end because of cheating are always painful. You realize all the lies you’ve been fed and no matter how hard you want to trust them again, it is almost impossible. So if your partner has cheated and is now doing the best they can to win you back, take a deep breath and consider the options. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you still want to give them a second chance.
Sometimes people have to cheat before they really appreciate what they had in the first place. Some people do change and regret having ever cheated in the first place. If you still love your ex, whether they’ve cheated or not, if they seem genuinely sorry for hurting you, it’s okay and totally normal to get back with your ex-lover.
#11. Your Ex Wants to Get Back Together
Ladies and gentleman, no sign is clearer than this. Your ex wants you back and is letting you know. This may be what you’ve been waiting for ever since the breakup. Go for it. Go get your ex back. But before you go running back into their arms, think of all the pros and cons of getting back together. You have to put your feelings aside, and decide whether it’s really worth another shot. Is this the kind of relationship you really need?
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Regardless of what your ex wants, it’s important to weigh the options carefully before you give them an answer. If your ex had a particularly bad habit, or did something that you disliked, talk to them about changing that habit first. In fact, this is a good opportunity to point out the things that you did not like or want to change in your relationship. And if they really want to get back with you, they should be willing to make changes for you, and for your relationship.
If you see any of these 11 signs mentioned above and you’ve been having second thoughts about your break up, by all means, do everything you can to try to get your ex back. Now that you’ve got the signs, start thinking about what to say to your ex to get them back. But you also shouldn’t have to convince them that you’re worth giving a second chance. It may be really hard to let go of your ex-lover, sometimes it’s just best to really break up for good and focus your energy on moving on instead of trying to change their heart and trying to win your ex back. It takes time to let go, but time really does heal everything. You can do it.
Reunite With Your Ex-Partner
This 14-day relationship program will help you learn how to take responsibility for your relationship, repair your mistakes, and build a stronger and happier relationship with your ex.
You’ll learn how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and resolve conflict in a healthy manner. By the end of this program, you’ll have the necessary tools you need to get your ex back and build a strong, lasting relationship.