The period that follows a breakup can be emotionally unbearable, especially when you find yourself feeling like the loneliest person in the world. Many women try to get over these uncomfortable feelings by jumping into a new relationship. But deep inside they are still lonely and grieving the loss of the person they truly loved.
There are some women who manage to brave the situation by concentrating on other positive things in their lives. But if you think that you’ll never be same without your ex, and believe that a small flame still burns, you can try to get him back into your life.
Breakups cannot be blamed on one person alone. If you can list all of his faults, then you had better be able to list yours as well. However, if you are trying to gather the shattered pieces of your relationship and rebuild it, you need to drop the blame game tactics, because it will only push him away even more.
You are way better off trying something that will get him thinking positively about you once again. When trying to build something from ashes you need to let go of trivial issues as much as you need to work on your past mistakes.
You do not want to remind him about the bad times, that’s just going to make him doubtful about the possibility of the relationship ever working out again. There must have been some sweet memories that can make him feel good about the relationship once again.
#1. The First Time When You Met
The first encounter is always special. Back then you barely knew each other, and yet there was something drawing you together. Whatever made you guys part ways, must have started later on in the relationship. In the beginning it was like a dream. So, the best place to make a fresh start is by taking him down memory lane, when everything was wonderful.
#2. When You Celebrated Something Together
The best part about being in a relationship is being able to share your achievements and failures. Remind him about the times you celebrated something together, whether it was his birthday, a new job, or an anniversary. Celebrations are always fun and are reminders of the good times. Looking back on those moments is certainly going to lift his spirits.
#3. Vacations You Took Together
If it was a long-term relationship then you probably took a few vacations together. Remind him of the places you discovered together and how excited you both were. If he is a foodie, talk about the exotic dishes that you tried together while on your holiday. Also revisit any funny or unexpected incidents that you experienced as couple during a trip. Keep in mind, you’re taking him down memory lane, so it’s best to refrain from bringing up anything that you’d rather forget about those vacations.
#4. The Movies You Watched Together
Movies make great for conversation and if your ex has a keen interest in movies, then you can talk about the movies you watched together. Talking about the best and the worst movies you watched together, and your thoughts on different actor will help remind him about all the fun you used to have.
#5. Songs That You Both Enjoyed
Music is a great way to connect, and if it was something that you both really connected on, you will do yourself a big favor by talking about that connection. Talk about the songs that you listened to together, how they make you feel, and what they mean to you. Finding a way to play those songs to him during your conversations will have an even bigger impact than only talking about them.
#6. Anything Else That You Connected On
There can be plenty of subjects that a couple connects on. Choose a topic that you both enjoyed talking about and never got bored of. If you are in the same profession, all the better, because you’ll be able to relate on so many levels. Some couples like to discuss science and technology, while others share interest in history. If you shared common places of interest, remind him of those as well.
#7. Have Dinner At A Restaurant Where You Used To Go Often
Every couple has a favorite restaurant, which they found cozy, comforting, and all theirs. Plan an evening and visit that place together once again. It will surely revive some precious memories of your relationship. If you used to find it comfortable back then, you are likely to find it just as welcoming even now.
#8. Hang Out With The Same Group of Friends
Start hanging out with the same group of friends. If you have a common group of friends then it is easier to reconnect, since they are likely to have shared in some good memories from your time together. More importantly, having those friends around helps get rid of any awkwardness there might be. Let your friends remind him just how good those times were.
It’s not easy rebuilding a broken relationship, but if you feel that despite everything that led to the breakup you still had the best time of your life with him, it is worth a try. Getting him to remember all the fun, special, wonderful, and beautiful times you shared, might make him want to reconsider the relationship and start over again. Although it is important to work on the mistakes that led to the breakup, it’s not helpful to bring them up in the initial stages of getting back together. It’s better to keep that for later, when you guys have gotten close enough again to start discussing where it went wrong.
Reunite With Your Ex-Partner
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You’re right. Sweet memories hold occupy a tricky spot in our brain. Either they make us feel good or they make us cry. But it all depends on how you feel about the people with whom you share those memories. If they matter to you still those memories can be pretty much overwhelming. Otherwise, they are nothing more than just part of your life that has passed. So, while recounting sweet memories to an ex, I feel, it is important to first make sure whether you at all mean something to him. If not, then he may just turn a cold shoulder and that would be somewhat brutal.
Carefully bringing up the best memories from the past is indeed one of the stroongest ways to reconnect with an ex. Obviously before getting there one has to first break the ice and revive the talking terms. Incidents or situations that led up to a break up may not have been too good. And if thats what clouding his mind, then the best way to bring him out of that state is to remind him of the nocer times. If you could have a good time together once, it is possible yet again.
Getting back an ex is like one of the toughest jobs on the earth. It is the best to realize your mistakes and mend your ways before it is too late. I dont know how well this trick will work, but I believe that if he still has feeling for you, these memories would automatically play into his mind. You do not need to put it there deliberately. And if he has forgortten everything already, it is unlikely that anything related to the past will have any effect on him. But still worth a try if you feel you really want someone back in your life.
It needs a lot of patience and a real will power to actually take advantage of the right moment and bring up a sweet memory from the past. My two-year long relationship ended a few months ago, and we shared a plenty of good times together. Even I am willing to go to that extent for him, but I everytime I pull back myself in the fear how he would respond to it. What if he said something insensitive? What if those memories mean nothing to him any more? I would be hurt because they mean a lot to me.
Memories can play a tricky role in our lives. True that if you remind your ex of the good times he shared with you he might start feeling good about you all over again. But that is again a chance one has to take. This particular piece caught my interest because i found it to be a positive idea. People can be so nagging at times that they scare away their former lovers. I like how the article points out that maintaing subtlety in one’s approach an demeanor is the key. Obviously if it is too apparent it will turn awkward. I would say it has been a quite an interesting piece. And thanks for the advice.
Carefully bringing up the best memories from the past is indeed one of the stroongest ways to reconnect with an ex. Obviously before getting there one has to first break the ice and revive the talking terms. Incidents or situations that led up to a break up may not have been too good. And if thats what clouding his mind, then the best way to bring him out of that state is to remind him of the nocer times. If you could have a good time together once, it is possible yet again.
To be able to remind your ex of the sweet memories of the past you have to first build that comfort zone with him that is already lost. Therefore, it will need a lot of effort before you can actually get there. But yes, if you could successfully overcome the initial hurdles, this is a nice way to guide him back to the relationship, to let him know that all is not lost. Although it will take a lot of convincing power to make him think that way again, but what’s wrong in trying?
I think someone who really wants to reconnect with their ex, this is the best way. I cannot really think of any other way. Once broken, it is almost impossible to take the relationship to its former glory. But I think for someone who badly wants it back again, refreshing old memories can actually break the ice. But, again I wonder what effect that would have on the partner? There’s a possibility that he might get even more upset. Well, it is a highly circumstantial thing and the reactions will vary from person to person. Anyway, at least it is the safest and the best thing one can do according to me
It is the memories that stop people from moving on from a break up. But once you have moved on, these memories lose their ability to ignite emotions. So, although I agree partly with this article, I feel that it also depends a lot on the timing. That is to say, when you are trying to revive those memories for him. If it has been years and he doesn’t seem to bother much about you or the former relationship, there is no point. There are a lot of clauses attached to it. Also, memories can also push him farther away, if he suspects you to be tryong to manipulate him. Therefore, I would suggest that one should first evaluate the circumstances and then move ahead.
Great article. It’s all bitter and dull after a break up and its like you cannot remember anything good about the relationship after all the turmoils you have been through. But I agree that the memories are the only thing that keep the power of making things alright again. If bad memories can ruin things, good ones can make it as well. In my personal opinion, I would like to remember the good parts only and carry on if I really wanted to be with someone so badly.
I think this applies to those who are still in touch with their former partners, and not those like me. It is a ‘long’ process. To get back in touch with him, befriend him and develop that comfort zone first and then begin to remind him of your sweet memories. I guess by the time I manage to get to the final part, he will already be dating someone else. This will work for those who would bump on their ex accidentally and in a natural flow of situation. You cannot forcefully create a situation and expect it to work, not in love.