Should You Unfriend Your Ex on Social Media After a Breakup? (Updated August 2019)

Once a relationship is over, moving on becomes the most essential part. It is difficult to convince your heart to cut off all ties with your ex, but you will have to do it eventually.

In this day and age, the biggest connecting point is social media. You will be at constant war with yourself whether or not to unfriend your ex on all social media platforms.

Social networking is like living in a virtual world, and there are times when your virtual world and real-world intersect. When it comes to relationships, all too often the virtual and real worlds are at odds. You need to separate your reality from your virtual world.

This is when you need to ask yourself some questions. How helpful is it for you to continue to be in someone’s virtual life when that person no longer exists in your real life? It might sound deep and thought-provoking, but put simply, continuing to be in touch with your ex in the virtual world will not improve your chances of getting back with them.

If you are still wondering whether you should unfriend your ex on social media or not, here are a few points which will help you decide:

1. You’ll Have More Disappointments

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Dilemmas are common when trying to get over an ex. It takes a serious effort to get over someone. What your first move needs to be is to unfriend your ex on your social media accounts. It will be a tough call but you will have to do it in order to move on.

Updates on their whereabouts, what they’re up to, and who they’re with will only lead to more disappointments. If your ex is still on your friend list, chances are you are still deliberately keeping an eye on them.

Keeping your ex part of your virtual world means that it is the only way you’ll ever be connecting. You might just come across an image of them with someone else, and seeing them already going out will be more distress for you. There are some things you don’t need to know and it can only happen if you unfriend your ex.

2. You’ll Feel Helpless

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No matter how long you were in the relationship, the truth is, it’s over. This underlines the fact that you don’t have any say in what your ex-partner is doing right now. That feeling of belonging won’t die out immediately after a breakup. It takes time for you to disconnect from your ex.

Knowing what is happening in your ex’s life will not make it easier for you to move on. You might find out something through social media that upsets you, and you won’t be able to do anything about it, which in turn makes you feel helpless. You will end up comparing your situation to your ex’s. If you feel that they have moved on, you are bound to feel miserable.

This helplessness might trigger anxiety and make you desperate to contact your ex again. You have broken up, but you want to keep your self-respect intact.

That is exactly why it is very important that you unfriend your ex on social media so that you don’t end up making a rash decision that you’ll regret later.

3. A Bothersome Ex

No one wants their ex to be prying into their business after the breakup. If you don’t unfriend your ex on social media, this could become an uncomfortable reality for you. You will become that bothersome ex. That is exactly why you need to unfriend your ex on all social media platforms.

It only takes a “curious” ex to ruin your chances of moving on. If it did not work out with them, there must have been a reason. Since it’s all over now, there is really no need to keep the strings attached. If you do, then you are no better than a stalker. Your prying will be troublesome for you and possibly your ex if you end up leaving comments.

Sure, an ex could become a friend, but it will probably take years for that to happen. You cannot become friends immediately after a break-up, even if the break-up was mutual.

You first need to move on with your life, and only then can you look back at your past relationship with fondness. So before you become bothersome, unfriend your ex.

4. The Past Will Haunt You

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Having your ex on your social media friend list means you’re stopping yourself from breaking free. You will allow your past to dominate your present if you don’t unfriend your ex.

Whatever memories you’re probably trying to forget will be fresh in your mind for as long as you have them on your friend list.

The constant notifications will bother you and drag you back into the breakup. You might give in to the urge of checking their social media one last time. If you see that your ex is happy but you don’t feel the same, then that is bound to make you even more miserable.

You definitely don’t want to be stuck in your past for the rest of your life. The only way to move on is to leave the past in the past. You will have to leave your urges behind and unfriend your ex else your past will forever haunt you and you will never be able to get over your ex.

5. Your Current Partner May Have A Problem

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Although there is nothing wrong, ethically or legally, with having your ex on your friend list, your current boyfriend or girlfriend probably won’t be too thrilled with the idea. They know that having your ex on your friend list will always leave the option open for you two to reconnect. This might make your current partner jealous and insecure.

They might think you are still not over your ex, even if that’s not the truth. And it can easily get worse if you have a nosy ex who keeps leaving comments on your photos. This will surely not be appreciated by your current partner.

To understand it better, you just simply need to put yourself in their shoes. If your new love is still friends with their ex, then you won’t like it either. So do yourself a favor and unfriend your ex on social media after your breakup.

6. Scientific Analysis Shows It’s Better To Unfriend Your Ex

According to psychologists, keeping an ex on your friend’s list reduces the chances of emotional recovery. Studies have shown that those who have unfriend their ex after a breakup recover faster than those who did not.

Not knowing how your ex is doing will surely help you forget about them faster. You will need to keep them out of sight because out of sight is out of mind. It will be healthy for your mind and will make you less anxious.

The participants who unfriend their ex did not have any kind of offline contact with them either. Although they experienced slower personal growth, they were much better off emotionally than those who were still in touch, even if only in the virtual world.

7. Your Ex’s Response Won’t Be Too Pleasant

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It is no longer possible to connect with your ex like you used to. You are no longer in a relationship and that is what makes it awkward and uncomfortable if you do not unfriend your ex.

Either your overtures will be returned with a cold shoulder, or you will get a response that you were not really expecting. Your ex might not feel the need to remain in contact and will respond in a way that’s clearly a “no” as an answer.

You will end up cursing yourself for even sending that message or taking any form of initiative to contact them. But then, after a while, you will again feel like reaching out to them. This could go on for eternity if you don’t make a deliberate effort to move on.

You will have to sever all ties at once else you will be caught in this vicious cycle forever. So to move on, you need to unfriend your ex on all social media platforms.

8. You Won’t Get Enough Time to Think

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Breakups are hard and moving on is difficult, especially if you were dumped. But that does not mean that you should become a stalker and lose your dignity over it.

You will have to be tough and let it go. Before you take any step, you need time to think. Give yourself some space to make logical decisions as to why you need to unfriend your ex.

You need to ask yourself the following questions. If the answer is “yes” or “I’m not sure,” then unfriend your ex:

• Do I get a feeling of longing every time my ex post something on social media?
• Do I have an uncontrollable urge to visit my ex’s profile, and find out what they’re up to?
• Does my ex still have feelings for me?
• Is my ex stalking me?
• Could having my ex on my social media friends list be ruining my chances with my new love interest?
• Is my ex interfering with my present, and trying to influence my current relationship?
• Is my ex too curious about what I am doing?
• Do I want to move on, and start a new life without them?

Conclusion

To unfriend your ex right after a breakup is the best time to make the move. The longer you wait before hitting the delete button, the more difficult it will be. There is always the urge to keep in touch, but it will really not be healthy for you. You will just mull over the breakup for a longer period.

Let’s be honest, being friends with someone you have been romantically involved with is unrealistic. Maybe you can come up with examples of people you know who continued to be friends after breaking up. But would that number be greater than those who didn’t stay friends afterward?

If you want to get back to your former self, leave the past behind, and look towards a brighter future. We hope that we were able to convince you why you should unfriend your ex on social media after a breakup. If you have any other suggestions, leave us a comment.